Emotional Support Sisters

I’ve had some personal introspection going on lately. Allow me to set the scene.

When I was a mom to 3 young toddlers I was an outdoorsy playing mom.  Walk to the park regularly. Check. Monthly beach trips. check. Walk to the grocery store, also check. Regular swim days, another check. Our tv broke and we didn’t replace it for months, and didn’t have any problems.

When Bug was 5, we moved from sunny Southern California to a place further north that has snow. (I don’t like snow or cold  I think all water sports should be done on water that is not frozen and with the sun warming you up)

About this time is also when my chronic irritations became chronic illnesses.

I did not have the energy to take the kids hiking, or to play on the lakes. I had to rely more on others for help.

I became more reliant on electronics to entertain my kids.

Electronies are now a habit (addiction?).

I am starting to feel better, but still have my limits, which I found out the hard way. Thank you energy crash of late August and early September for reminding me of said limits.

I now have the desire to go and play with my kids again. I’d love to go play pickleball or go hiking or any variety of outdoor activities. But I don’t actually do it.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with planning or executing the activity. Sometimes I don’t want to suggest something and get excited only for the kids to think it is a lame idea and complain because they didn’t get their electronics/friends/reading/nap time. And sometimes I down right do not have the energy.

Where the introspection has come into play is which “excuse” am I using, and which ones are valid and which ones are bad habits.

The down right I don’t have energy is valid, except for when it’s actually “I’m afraid I won’t have enough energy afterward to do the cooking, cleaning, and nagging about chores and homework routine.” The other 2
… They are bad habits which used to be coping mechanisms for when I didn’t have enough energy. Also, my kids have developed a more sedentary lifestyle because I was not leading the activities and some days watching TV was all I could handle, which means their default “I’m bored” activity is electronics and not something like bike riding.

Am I shoulding on myself ? A little. Is change hard? A little. Am I overthinking it? Probably. Am I going to figure it out? Yes! (most likely)

Missy