Emotional Support Sisters

I’m taking a brief interlude from explaining my migraine treatment to tell you about the day I had last week.

It started like any normal day. I woke up around 7:15, but had a hard time getting out of bed until 8 or 8:30. I went upstairs to work on the large amount of dishes that were leftover from the day before baking adventures.  I open the dishwasher, which Beaver had sworn was full before he started it, and find maybe 5 dishes in the top rack. I unloaded, reloaded, and started what would be the first of 3 loads of dishes that day.

3 of my 4 kids are usually pretty good at getting out of bed. 1 of them however is nearly impossible. I have to wake her up and re-wake her up repeatedly.  Some days I quite literally drag her out of bed and walk her to breakfast. We did not have anywhere to go, so I didn’t drag her out of bed, which means she finally rolled out of bed at 11 she finally woke up, but by then I was leaving. She also missed out on the raspberry picking from our raspberry patch.

I had to drop my oldest, Bug, off at a week-long religious summer camp. The drop-off window was between 11 and 1. First I dropped Beaver off at a friend’s. Then I took Bug to buy snacks at 11. I brought my youngest, Butterfly, along because she was feeling a little under the weather and quite clingy, and her other siblings are not the best at watching her for long periods. I told Bug to get a couple of healthy snacks and a couple of treats. She followed my instructions to the letter, and I had to help her out by getting treats for sharing. Once we got to the drop-off location, Butterfly had chewed her shirt to death and was touching her spit to everything, gross. Hopefully, she didn’t get anyone sick. I had to piggyback her around the college campus the summer camp is on, which turned into an almost hour-long piggyback. My legs were a little wibbly wobbly by the end. When Bug gets anxious she starts snapping at everyone and being very short-tempered. Well, she started snapping at me so I gave her a giant squeezy hug, then went to the car and drove it close to her to give her the water bottle she’d forgotten. She has checked in a few times and seems to be doing great.

When I got home Butterfly was still not feeling well so she watched cartoons while I emptied, reloaded, and started the dishwasher. Then I worked on dinner. When dinner was almost ready I texted everybody’s friend’s parents to send them home. Shortly after texting for Beaver, he walked out of his room where he had been, unbeknownst to me, sleeping since 1. 

After dinner, I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher for the 3rd time. I also had Bear, and Beaver work on straightening, dusting, and vacuuming their rooms. Butterfly, who normally won’t fall asleep until 9:30 (drives me bonkers) begged to go to sleep at 6:30 and was asleep before 8. I had an extra 1.5 hours to fill, and fill them (plus another hour) I did. Somewhere around here, Bug called to say good night. I sat down on our couch and folded my legs underneath me. I folded them too much and when I stood up my knee was not happy today I had to brace on to keep it from going too wiggly on me.

First I started a load of laundry from Bear’s room. As I dumped the clothes in I found 3 books she had stashed there. Then, because I had enough raspberries to make a batch of freezer jam, I did. Well, as I was looking around I noticed that the bananas were over ripe so I made banana pumpkin bread. I decided that while the oven was on I needed to do some of my food prep so that I have quick and easy keto-friendly food available. While I was at it I also got the next day’s dinner all prepped. What I hoped to finish by 9:30 took me until 10:30, which was the time I had hoped to be in bed going to sleep. I still needed to shower (yes I shower EVERY night or else I wake up with hives from the allergens in my hair), do some towel traction, and start my last load of laundry for the night, which put me going to bed at 11:30, oops. When I switched the laundry over to the dryer in preparation for starting my last load, I found the 4th book Bear’d put in the laundry basket. It was really clean, and shredded into oblivion. I was grateful it was not a library book, but a little sad that it was one Bear had been reading to Butterfly.

So Why did I share this day with you? I’d like to point out the neurospicy parts of my day, that happen fairly often in my family, but not usually all on the same day.

Getting out of bed: For Bear it is an ADHD thing. There is not enough dopamine in the task to get up and going. It is easier to go to sleep. For me, it is a little bit of ADHD, but also a blood pressure thing.  When I first wake up in the morning my blood pressure hovers around 90/50, which is a little low, and when I’m that low I have no energy.  Once I get up and going my blood pressure rises to normal ranges, but getting the willpower to get out of bed when there is no energy takes a bit.

Dishes in the dishwasher: This could be an age thing for Beaver, he is a preteen and just doesn’t like dishes. It is also an ADHD thing: no dopamine in doing the dishes, and not super observant of surroundings.

Dropping off somewhere new: Bug has anxiety, and one of her big things is being separated from our family. She was going somewhere new, the friend she thought she was rooming with ended up not rooming with her, and mistakes were made in that we forgot something. This all led to her being very anxious and short-tempered. I, thankfully, recognized her anger as anxiety and was able to love her instead of feeding the anger monster. I’m not always good at noticing when her short-temperedness is due to anxiety.

Showing up randomly after a nap: I can’t count how many times I have lost Beaver because he decided to take a nap. This has been going on since he was 2. He forgets to tell me he is taking a nap and either I can’t find him or he randomly shows up when I thought he was somewhere else.  I’m pretty sure this is a coping mechanism for autism for him.  When he gets too overwhelmed he powers off.

Cleaning up: Bear doesn’t like to clean (no dopamine, hard to know where to start). I often body double with her, but didn’t because I needed to clean and vacuum my room. When I don’t body double with her strange things happen, like books in the laundry basket.

Dishes: this is a chronic fatigue and ADHD thing. After doing a lot of cooking, I don’t always have the energy to do all the dishes. My kids are supposed to do dishes after dinner, but sometimes I don’t have the follow through either because I forget (ADHD) or am too tired to fight the battle.

Bedtime: Butterfly usually falls asleep around 9:30 at night. She has been going to bed at this time since she was 2. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t produce enough of her own melatonin. This drives me nuts because I like having a few hours to do what I want when the kids are in bed/ having quiet time. I don’t usually get that with her going to bed so late and being so young.

Baking: I fell into the “if you give a mouse a cookie” phenomenon. I also had some time blindness going on. ADHD for the win.

Folding too much: Hypermobily for the win!

Showering at night: I shower every night because of severe allergies. If I wash my hair right before I go to bed it rinses out all of the allergens so they aren’t rubbing all over my face and pillow while I’m sleeping. 

Missy