Emotional Support Sisters

Fun story (not really): Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I was mentally going over my calendar and plans for the upcoming few days. One of these plans includes an outing with one of my niblings (I love this word). My oh-so-helpful brain decided to surprise me with a vivid vision of that nibling becoming seriously injured. I immediately looked up the nearest hospital to the location of this outing. Because, really, it is wise to know where the nearest hospitals are.

But this wasn’t out of wisdom. This was out of anxiety. 

I fairly quickly realized what was going on (identifying the problem is half the battle, right?) and knew that the harder I fought against this intrusive thought, the harder it was going to push back. 

So what did I do?

Well, it was late. I was tired. And I knew if I just laid down and tried to go to bed then I would keep seeing this over and over in my head, each iteration getting a little bit worse.

So I watched reels on instagram for nearly an hour.

Do I recommend this approach in all circumstances? Absolutely not. But it was a tool that was available to me (both in the literal sense and in the metaphorical sense of what I am capable of doing in that moment). It was an effective distraction.

And guess what. Today…it’s still there. But it doesn’t have as much power over me. I’m no longer considering canceling this outing to avoid the chance of danger. (Just so you know, this outing does carry some risk, but everything we do carries risk. This particular outing is perhaps a little more dangerous than going to the playground. I’m not talking about backcountry skiing under an avalanche warning or anything like that. So canceling to avoid danger would be an overreaction.)

I’m about to get ready for bed for the night. Will the intrusive thought hit me harder during these nighttime hours when my brain and my body are tired? Probably. Is it going to suck? Likely. Can I make it through it? Absolutely.