Emotional Support Sisters

Last week we went on a cruise. It was wonderful, relaxing, and warm. We got home late Saturday night. Sunday night Butterfly spiraled into school anxiety. Some comments included that I don’t like school. School is hard. I can’t learn. The kids are mean. The whole week we were on the cruise she did not express any anxiety concerns. She had fun playing with the other kids. She slept like a rock. While I was lying by her waiting for her to fall asleep I analyzed potential reasons beyond the obvious reason we were on vacation.

The first thought I had was that she was able to get all her wiggles out. The only time she was required to sit still was during dinner, and even then she was allowed to wiggle. She swam at least 2 hours everyday. When she was at the kids club, although structured, the activities were hands-on and engaging. She did not have to sit and listen. If you’re reading this and thinking, boy it sounds like she has ADHD. You wouldn’t be wrong. We do not have an official diagnosis, but after having 2 other kids diagnosed with ADHD I’m fairly confident she has it. I also think there may be a sensory processing disorder thrown in there, too. We are in the diagnosis process.

She also did not complain once about kids being mean to her. She is in the 2% on the growth charts. At school she is by far the smallest kid, and is easily pushed around. I think some of it is unintentional, but regardless she does not like it, and is quite anxious about it. On the cruise she was the oldest in her designated age group, sometimes by up to 3 years. The kids were not pushing her around. The adult to child ratio was also significantly smaller than when she is at school.

My conclusion to these analyses is…. She is a poster child for homeschooling the unschooling way. Am I going to do it? NOPE! Why? A couple of reasons. The first and biggest is that my mental health is not in a place where I could do it. Don’t get me wrong. I love having my kids home during the summer, and it is significantly less stressful. But During the summer I let my kids be free and play, and are supervised from a distance (AKA for Butterfly’s age I sit on the porch swing and read a book. If I hear any problems or she comes to me with problems etc. I help, but otherwise she is on her own.) What I don’t do is figure out how to incorporate learning into this free play. Figuring out how to teach her to read without sitting down and learning to read will make my mind explode. The second is I honestly do not have the energy to keep up with her. I think she has a nuclear reactor powering her, because she never runs out of energy.

In an alternate reality where I could either afford a private tutor to unschool her (that sounds weird, but I imagine it as an all knowing person that can adventure and teach skills at the same time) or someone to take over all of my housekeeping duties so I can adventure with her I would unschool her. Alas, I don’t live in this alternative reality so I’m going to have to figure something else out. The most likely option is finding a charter school that is more focused on movement and projects than traditional schools.

I’m not sure how to end my musings in this post. I guess the moral of the story is that not everyone learns well in a traditional school environment and that is ok. If you are one of those people and you survived public education congratulations! If you didn’t survive, I am sorry, and I wish the world was more accommodating. If you are currently parenting, or in the past parented, one of these people I would love ideas or suggestions that have helped you and your wiggly learner.

Missy