Emotional Support Sisters

Decision fatigue. For a mom with executive function difficulties making decisions gets overwhelming. What are we having for dinner? What do we need to buy at the store? Should I clean up so and so’s mess or make them do it? If I make them do it how much help will they need? How long will this take? Do I have time to do it? Do I have the energy to do it? It just spirals and spirals until my knee-jerk reaction has become NO!
After much introspection, I realized that I really don’t mind the kids doing a lot of the things I say no to, as long as I do not have to decide whether they can or cannot do it.

I have a recent success in streamlining our home so that the kids no longer have to ask for my help with something.

Butterfly absolutely loves crafting. She will, color, cut, glue, design, or build on a whim. For a long time (until Nov 2023) all of our crafting supplies were up high and she needed help getting them down. I didn’t want her crafting on walls, so I kept them out of her reach. She would have to ask for crafting supplies anytime the creative muse struck. I was regularly saying no because then I had to decide to 1. Interrupt whatever it was I was doing to get the supplies. 2. Worry about the mess she would make. 3. Help clean up the mess. 4. I would never know how long she was going to craft 10 min, 2 hours? Who knew,? That led to me not knowing how to plan the rest of my time before cleaning up. Do I have enough time to do the dishes? Workout? Shower? Garden? Help someone else? She resorted to doing legos because they were down low where she could reach them. This started causing other problems. They were stored in her brother’s room, who would get mad at her for playing in his room. She started playing with them in the front room so he wouldn’t get mad. I started to get frustrated with finding them with my bare feet. I finally decided to get rid of a bunch of bigger toys geared more toward preschoolers to make room for a Lego/craft table for her. The rules for the crafting table (because she prefers crafting over legos now that she has unlimited access to crafting) are 1. No painting or clay/playdough over the carpet. That must be done in the kitchen over the hardwood floor. 2. All supplies must be on the table or in the bins under the table when she is done with that crafting session.

She now crafts almost every day. I do not have to make decisions about letting her. She is pretty good about cleaning up after herself. I am ok with helping clean up the little pieces she misses. This sounds weird as I am trying to figure out why I am ok with cleaning up the little messes she misses, but it is mostly because I did not have to decide if I was letting her make the mess. The mess is already there and it just takes a quick moment to either throw the trash away or pile the supplies on top of the table (I only lasted a week trying to keep the supplies organized). Also cleaning up the mess isn’t vital to the flow of the rest of the house, so if I do not have the energy to clean it up or ask her to clean up I can leave it until I do.


Do I still get decision fatigue regularly? YES! Is there one less thing I have to worry about? YES! I will take the little wins where I can.

Missy