Emotional Support Sisters

The chronic illness roller coaster continues its never-ending ride. This time I will talk a bit about the highs and the lows as they pertain to parenting children in an age of abundant technology.

I am a full believer that allowing a child the opportunity of boredom is an excellent thing. That is unless I am already low on energy and said boredom overstimulates, overwhelms, and zaps every last bit of energy I have left. At which time I cave to the never-ending begging for screen time and get some peace, quiet, and a break from decision fatigue. Then, once I have recovered my sanity, I feel guilty that I allowed my kids to sit and watch screens for hours and hours, and frustrated that my kids won’t take no for an answer when I am low on energy, because they most definitely take no for an answer when I am up and going and feeling well.

This cycle can repeat itself over the course of a day or over the course of several weeks. When it is just a single random day, I feel less guilt, because everyone needs a down day occasionally. When it is over the course of several weeks the guilt is heavier because they have been inactive for a while and I worry about the long-term effects it could have on their health.

During the warmer months, I am better at suggesting going outside and playing, walking, exploring, or many other fun activities. During the winter I am not because I hate the cold and struggle with thinking that anyone could enjoy it. This year I decided to sign the kids up for a lot of activities to try and keep them engaged and away from screens. They were definitely more active, but the over all stress levels in our home went way up and it was not good. So I have reduced the amount of activities, everyone is feeling less stressed, and we are back to begging for screens.

After I come out of the fog, I feel like I am retraining everyone. It feels like the rollercoaster slowly pulling up the first hill. We get to the top have some fun and active weeks, and then I slow right back down, everyone forgets the rules, and we have to start back up that ****@#$@**** hill again.

Ps
I have been at the bottom and stopped for several months now. I am slowly starting back up that hill, and am in the thick of all the feelings tonight. So my thoughts may be a little rough or unclear, and for that, I apologize.

Chronic Fatigue Rollercoaster